I'm Wilhemina Slater and I don't get wet: "Ugly Betty"

His milkshake still brings Betty to the yard. Photo by ABC.com

I love "Ugly Betty" so much that I want to run away and make babies with it. OK, that was so dramatic but you get the point.
This episode, Betty was bored with Henry and wanted some excitement. Gio swooped back into the picture and caught Betty's attention much to Henry's dismay. But Hilda, who knows a good thing when she sees it, decided to give Gio a try.

Betty White guest starred and stole the show. She's put a kink in Willie's plan to open "Slater" magazine. Meanwhile, Daniel and Alexis fought for control of Meade publication during a paintball fight.

Henry, meanwhile, unveiled a fantastic body (who knew???) during an evening of dancing. And Hilda realized that Gio has it bad for Betty. (poor HIlda).

And Daniel asked Alexis if they could run Meade together but she took the shot and won the competition. Gio asked HIlda out but she realized that he likes Betty.

Meanwhile, the other Betty has the best line of the night: I'm going on TV with whore eyes. And Betty took this opportunity to milk the feud for more publicity.

And Willie pulled out one last trick to help stay in Meade: Bradford's baby. EWWWW

Episode grade: A+++++++++++

Oops. I have to deduct a plus because of the SHAMELESS promotion of THIS movie.

Ding, dong the witch is gone: America's Next Top Model

YAAAyyyyyy!!!!!. Photo by CWTV.com

They finally kicked the byotch out!!! Thank you Jebus! Girlfriend was EEEEEEEVIIIILLLLL and STAAAANNNKKKK and NAAAASTTY.

Tyra finally called her out on her naturalness in her moves and poses. She's "pretty" (it's debatable) and she's got a "strong face" but I hope she goes back to Queens and stays there.

I'm a bit sad because next week is the finale. My guess for the winner? This girl.

"I am my best person when I have less on my plate": Tuesday's "Oprah"

This book is changing the face of the world. Image from Amazon.com

I normally recap primetime shows but as a closet "Oprah" watcher I had to talk about today's show. If you haven't heard about "Eat, Pray, Love" then you've probably been living under a rock. Don't be surprised if folks give you a copy for the holidays because people are flocking to it as if it were the Bible.

The premise: After realizing the life of her dreams, WASN'T what she wanted, author Elizabeth Gilbert decided to leave everything behind and go to Italy, India and then Bali to discover what the true meaning of HER life was.

I was skeptical at first but after watching these legions of women go on and on about how great the book was, I may give it a try during the writer's strike. When Oprah herself is looking at you like you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, it might be worth your time to give it a gander.

The author is a hoot and she's that partyguest that you'd want to stay after the last guest is gone.

Wow, just wow: "Heroes" the recap

Goodbye Nikki R.I.P. Photo by NBC.com

I'm just floored. Just floored. We spent all of this time for this?

Maya shot and was dead and now she's alive? Nikki dead and killed in an explosion saving Monica. Nathan shot during a press conference but not before exposing the power of heroes?

It was just horrible. They have a great buildup but not a great ending. At least Sylar's been restored for now.

Episode grade: C

The Amazing Race: The recap

Bye-bye blondes!!!!!! Photo by CBS.com

One word: Karama!!!!!!!!!!

This recap won't mention the shameless promotion of THIS Web site.

Christmas, Christmas everywhere: 24hr Merrython

If you don't know who these folks are, you're probably under 20. Photo by Wikepedia

It's Sunday afternoon and I stumbled on TVland's 24hr Merryland. For 24 hours, TVland showed Christmas themed episodes of some of our all-time favorite shows. I got sucked into watching "Good Times," "The Andy Griffith Show" and my all time favorite "Little House on the Prarie."

The Ingalls family is in dire need of money for the holiday so each Ingalls worked on a way to get money to buy each other a gift for the holiday. It was sooo sweet and innocent than that's what's on these days. If you missed it this weekend, you can watch on Thursday nights (since the writer's strike looks as if it's going to continue you have nothing else to watch anyway) through the month of December.

nip/tuck: the power watch recap

It's been a while since I've watched but I'm sooo glad I did. Photo by Fox.com

This used to be my favorite show on TV but this season has been packed with goodness and with Tuesdays being jam-packed, this was supposed to be my show to watch on the weekends. Unfortunately, I let the last few pile up that is until today. And if I knew such scandalous goodness was resting on my DVR I would have worked to watch earlier.

The highlights of the last month: Sean is dating an actress on the set of "Hearts and Scalpels" but apparently she had gastric bypass and he made her fit and beautiful. But she's such a Debbie Downer that he dumped her because he's still in love with Julia.

Christian is struggling with Sean's sudden popularity in L.A. that he resorted to posing in Playgirl and even picking up desperate old women in bars all trying to recapture the popularity he had in Miami.

Of course they had to figure out a way to work Julia, Matt and Kimber in and here's how they they did it.

Julia near the end of last season took the kids, Annie and Connor and moved to NYC to be near her mom. While there she met a woman named Ollie and fell in love and now says she's a lesbian. Although, she had a tryst with Christian for a second, she still maintains she's a lesbian. Ollie, played by Portia de Rossi
comes with a special set of baggage: her teen-age daughter Eden. Eden is taking out her frustrations about her mom being a lesbian on poor Annie by telling the pre-teen that's she's too fat and ugly. She's also flirting a la "Lolita" style with Sean that is until Christian got her shipped off to rehab.

Matt shows up with baby Jenna and says he's left Kimber. He cons Christian and Sean (his two dads) into thinking he's trying to restart his life when in reality he's living in a fleabag with Kimber and they are both addicted to drugs. They are stooping so low (Kimber sleeping with the manager of the flea bag hotel, Matt getting thisclose into doing a gay porn feature).

You can just bet that the season will continue to get trasher and dirtier and I'll love every second of it.

Episode grades: A+

The plan to save "Journeyman"

Here's looking at you McKidd. I hope we'll see you after the strike. Photo by NBC.com

On another message board, my secret identity is SDpaperboy. I've been on a one man crusade to get people to save this show. So here's the plan: Monday night, 10 p.m. download the last episode aired called "Blowback" on Itunes. It'll cost you $1.99 but it's worth it.

Get your friends to do the same and then get them to watch on Dec. 10 so we can see those numbers rise!

He dug his own grave: Survivor the recap

In the words of Florida Evans "Damn, Damn, DAYUM! Photo by CBS.com


OK. Confession time: I haven't recapped "Survivor" in a while because I got bored and it had gotten lame. But after last night's surprise boot, it's suddenly veerrry interesting!

I have to admit, I had hoped that James the gravedigger, would go farther along in the game than this. One, because I thought he was a cool dude and two, I had him in my company's office pool!

Boyfriend got PLAYED y'all. Amanda the pixelated booty shaker came up with the plan to blindside him by voting him out. But first, Pee Gee, some dude I can't and don't care about and Denise the lunch lady all got to go to a Chinese temple and eat, rest and watch Kung Fu. Denise hauled out her moves and, and, (yeah, I'm going to say it) everybody was Kung Fu fighting! (Well, not really but they were showing off their moves).

Back at camp James, Todd, Amanda and Courtney were all thrilled saying that in a few days it could be them in the Final Four. Amanda, though, said she had to shake up the game and came up with the perfect plan to get James out.

And just like that, James, after losing immunity, got played. He had TWO hidden immunity idols and decided not to play them and he was voted out. You could see in his face before the voting that he was tempted to play one of them but trusted his teammates, thereby ignorning the cardinal rule of "Survivor" Don't TRUST ANYBODY.

(Sigh) there goes my $200.

Episode grade: B+

NO! NOOOOO!: America's Next Top Model the recap

I don't care who wins. THIS is MY America's Next Top Model. Photo by CWTV.com

Can you BELIEVE this???

I was floored! Floored!! Bianca did well! Heather sucked???!! Heather got booted! LORD! LORD! LORD!

I feel sooo sorry for her because she couldn't find the go-sees. It was soo, soo sad.

Episode grade: WTF

Time is running out: SAVE JOURNEYMAN

If NBC has its way, Livia and the rest of the "Journeyman" gang may go POOF!. Photo by NBC.com

TV is breaking my heart. Another one of my shows is in danger of being yanked from the schedule. I'm beginning to think that cheap reality show crap is all people care about.

A few posts ago, I told you that "Journeyman" will be cancelled if more eyeballs don't get on this show. Please, if you're reading this, e-mail and call this woman:

Park, Joanne
Senior Press Manager - NBC Entertainment Publicity (Project Assignment: "It's a Wonderful Life" "The Singles Table" "Journeyman" "The Office")
Phone: (818) 840-4579
Fax: (818) 840-4943
Email: joanne.park@nbcuni.com


Please!! A show is in danger!

So long Red Team: So long Kim! So long big guy

Bryan was the last good guy left in the game. Kim sucks as a trainer. Photo by NBC.com

I have a confession: I've stopped watching this show from beginning to end. It's just tooo long, toooooooooo drawn out. Instead I cruise in for the weigh ins and then check out the voting. Tonight: Holly and Brian fell below the yellow line and of course Bryan was sent home. It's a Biggest Loser first: An entire team G-O-N-E!

Bryan was my favorite because if he can work hard and lose the weight, then anyone can. He's an amazing person and I wish him well.

One episode left: Heroes

Yeah girl, I want to put the hood over my head too. Photo by NBC.com

Is there all there is? After last episode's stellar episode, they come with this dud. The good: One half of the Wonder Twins was killed. The bad thing: it was the likable one.

Monica found out that her powers don't make her immune to stupidity as she was captured by a local gang while she was trying to retrieve Micah's stuff.

Claire acts like a bratty bitch most of the episode and we discover that Mohinder is the one who saved HRG and we learn that Claire and her crew plan to leave and move to Salt Lake City. The cool thing is the battle of the blondes (Claire vs. Elle) And Claire finally takes a stand against the company. Sylar calls Mohinder and tells him that he has Molly in his possession.

Hiro time travels in the past and learns Adam's plan goes to confront him. And we end Hiro vs. Peter. Wow.

Episode grade: C

Chickens and goats: Oh MY! The Amazing Race

A U-Turn derailed Jason and Lorena's quest for $1 million. Photo by CBS.com

Sooo many things to say about this episode! The blondes in a word: suck. But I skip ahead: TAR unveiled a handy new trick to cause the racers misery: The U-Turn. How it works is this: If a team gets U-turned they have to finish BOTH assigned tasks instead of choosing the one they think they can do. Unfortunately for Jason and Lorena, they had to do an African dance (those dances were hilarious!) AND pan for gold which lead to their early dismal.

It's too bad because I actually wanted to see more Lorena meltdowns like last week. And what's going on with the animals? last week animals, this week goats! I felt sorry for the poor goats. And what's up with Jen's pissy attitude? "Everybody deserves a turn? This ain't Miss America honey, it's the Amazing RACE!

Episode grade: B+

R.I.P Bradford Meade: A very late "Ugly Betty" recap

So long Bradford. Photo by ABC.com

I've said it once, I've said it twice, the show just keeps improving episode by episode. After last week's death of Bradford Meade and Betty's promise to help Daniel, Betty's got a case of the guilts as she keeps seeing Mr. Meade everywhere.

MM tells Betty she needs to go back to Mode but she says she didn't like the person she was becoming there. The day of the funeral, Hilda, Papa Suarez and Justin all prepare for the annual "let's get the tree ready" ritual. Hilda wants a hot pink fire retardant tree and Justin reminds everyone that "Pink is the new green." but after he gets the Xmas lights from his room from when "he turned his closet into a night club."
Betty dashes off to MM's funeral but not before Hilda reminds her that she could have quit AFTER she got the Xmas bonus. (I'm with Hilda on this).

At the funeral, Daniel discovers from Alexis that MM bought a huge family plot for all of them and he's stunned. The police escort Claire to the funeral and just as things were settling down, Willie shows up with Marc in tow. Marc shouts out "I can't believe she came! What's she doing here! Who's she wearing!" to create a classic dramedy moment! And just when you think the laughs end there, Claire trips Willie into the open grave. Claire, Alexis and Daniel all vote to terminate Willie.

But they obviously must not know about girlfriend because she's not going down without a fight. She goes back to the Mode offices and activates a virus that wipes out the entire issue called Medusa X. (I gotta get me one of those!)

Henry's at the office and calls Daniel and Alexis and they scramble to get the issue ready. And of course, Betty is already there waiting and somehow managed to beat them both back to the office and called all the staff ready to report for work. Willie shows up, reveals HER new magazine and then manages to take most of the staff. When she offered free plastic surgery, Amanda tells Betty to "Go! GO!"

Willie tells the remaining staff to enjoy and they remind her of the orchestra that played as the Titanic was sinking.

Back at Casa Suarez, Hilda complains about the tree and accidentally sets it on fire. Oops!

At Mode, everyone is scrambling to bring the issue to the presses and it winds up that Henry gets to be the food editor, Betty takes over books and Amanda gets the "What's Hot" feature. Daniel realizes that they need to reshoot the cover and breaks their cover model Cameron (Eliza Dushku who totally deserves a nod for this role) out of rehab.

Amanda is feeling the heat and keeps reminding everyone that she's Fay Summers daughter and it finally takes Sheila to tell her that she's out of her league. Alexis is busy trying to keep the printer happy and tries to seduce him until she realizes that he's a dwarf. They bond over "My dad didn't love me" stories and he agrees to keep the presses running.

At Mode, the photoshoot goes horribly wrong and Betty inspires Daniel to produce a black cover commemorating MM and then renumbers the issues.

Willie's busy trying to secure funding and is shocked when her father turns her down. At Mode, everyone pulls together and the issue hits the stands. Back at CS, Betty surprises everyone with a fully decorated tree.

The end! Feliz Navidad!!

Episode grade: A+

I'm joining the cult of Angie Harmon

Police woman: Angie Harmon rules Friday nights Photo by ABC.com

"Women's Murder Club" is my new Friday night guilty pleasure. Angie Harmon is fan-freaking-tastic. So fantastic that I'm joining the cult. I wish I could go back and watch her on "Law and Order." The thing that is amazing is this show is something that I wouldn't totally like and yet I'm entralled. It's like Sex and the City with guns or in the middle of a morgue.

But according to some bloggers, the show isn't doing well either. While I'm not begging this show be saved, I'd be sad if it were cancelled. It's smart, funny and entertaining. So if you're bored on a Friday night, give it a try. Tell them the Remote sent you.

MY DVR LIED TO ME!

Yep, your eyes aren't deceiving you, that's Sarah Jessica Parker getting her runway on. Photo by BravoTV.com


My DVR lied and said that there were no new episodes of "Ugly Betty," nor "Project Runway." Luckily, I had the sixth sense to record them both.

Unfortunately, I can't recap "Betty" right now, that'll have to wait until over the weekend, but I can do "PR".

A word to Ricky: Honey, I love you but all this crying NEEDS TO STOP. We get it, it's stressful, this is your big chance, blah, blah, blah. I can only imagine what things are like at home when he and his partner have breakfast: Him: "Hon? The eggs aren't done." Ricky: "WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

This week's challenge: Design a dresss for SJP's Bitten line. Everyone went craz-y over SJP because she's a fashion-icon. Really? I watched "Sex and the City" and thought her look was hor-ri-ble 2/3 of the time. It looked like she went into her closet and just starting putting crap on and whatever happened, happened.

Chris boo-hooed like he met Jesus for the first time and the rest of my gay peeps were beside themselves with joy. Even some of the women were all ga-ga over this. I looked up the clothes and it looks like Old Navy with a twist to me.

It came down to Christian channeling dresses from "Addicted to Love" the video and Marion and his gunny sack. As you can see, this is the dress that got him "Auf'd"

Episode grade: B+
Next week: Ricky gets his byotch on.

It's time to save our show!; "Journeyman" the appeal

It's time to take the journey, man: Watch this show!
photo by NBC.com

I didn't think I'd be writing this this early, but it's time to alert your friends. A great show is in danger of being cancelled and that's "Journeyman." If you don't watch this show you should because it's one of the best written, smartest shows on NBC's prime-time lineup.

The story is this: Dan Vassar is a report for a San Francisco paper who's have a great life until one day he finds himself traveling back and forth through time trying to save people and rewrite history. The time trips come at unexpected moments and he can't control it. Also in the mix is his ex-fiancee Livia who was supposedly "killed" in a plane crash, only she jumped through time too. She's his guide on how to get things done during the TT trips. Dan's wife Katie and 7-year-old son Zach know about the trips and they're covering for him. Add Dan's brother Jack into the mix (he's Katie's ex fiance) and the FBI who's getting suspicious and you have a great show.

Aintitcoolnews.com is reporting that unless the show improves on its ratings on Monday nights, it's um, history!

We need to mobilize. We need to stop this. If you're reading, get people to catch up with the two-minute recaps or full episodes that NBC has online and get them to take the journey with us.

"Stings like a bitch doesn't it?": Heroes the recap!

HRG captures Elle who gets her just desserts.


Photo by NBC.com

Lordy! It's back y'all! The first season magic of "Heroes" is back. West and HRG teaming up! Mohinder being bitch-slapped by HRG! Matt exploring the full extent of his powers! All of this adds up to Heroes goodness!

I loved the secret origin of Elle! The Company corrupted Elle and made her evil. Bob taking some of Claire's blood. Hiro and his dad traveling back in time to his mom's funeral and Hiro running into a younger version of himself. (Although why he doesn't remember it is beyond me. Anybody think Hiro mucking up time might have long reaching ramifications?)

And it's cool he got to say goodbye before his father was killed. And it was cool that Hiro froze time to see who killed his father. LOVED the special effects on that one although how many of us figured it out weeks ago that it was Kenzi/Adam who killed his dad. Is the seeking revenge against Hiro or has he gone mad with power?

Angela and Matt's interview was great too. Loved her smugness too! Especially when he used his power on her to force to tell him the truth: Adam is immortal. Angela then began to spill her guts. It was awesome. And then she fought him every step of the way until her nose bled.

I also liked that HRG and West bonded over cars. It was awesome to hear Elle overhear the plan and shoot a lightning bolt into the sky, shocking West and then having Claire save them both.

And how shocking was it to see Mohinder shoot HRG in the eye making Issac's painting come true! And the twist at the end: Holy $H!!!!!


Episode Grade: A+

Please lord give me milk: The Amazing Race the recap

Photo by CBS.com

Oh sooo much to say. First: The blondes: I HATE, HATE them. The racist comments they kept making about Africa were insane.

And note to the blondes, the bad weather? That's the WRATH OF GOD!

I'm glad that Christina and her dad got along better. And they have GOT to do something about the bunching! The teams started out in Amsterdam and ended up in Bingo, Africa. Who knew there was a place named Bingo?

And Phil's hair was just too amazing for words. The final two were the sisters and Jason and Lorena who appeared seconds away from having a nervous breakdown.

But the thing that frustrated me the most? Our local channel couldn't hold the signal so we couldn't see for looong stretches of time. BOO channel 8!

And it came down to a foot race and Lorena and Jason beat them. If only Julia and Marianna didn't help them by telling them to go to another camel for milk.