Thursday, October 04, 2007

Ugly is the new pretty: Ugly Betty the recap

"Girl I am black and you are Mexican. Let's not talk around it like a bunch of dull white people." Wilhemina Slater.

This show just keeps getting better and better. From Papa Suarez deciding to go across the border to Justin finally showing some sadness about his dad's unexpected death we went through all layers and back.

I'm sooo glad that Christina FINALLY told Henry the truth about Charlie and the baby! I was rolling on the couch when Amanda decided to dump the dog but I'm glad she came to her senses. And how much did we like Alexis with out makeup.

And of course, my heart broke for poor Justin when he saw where his dad died. And how awesome was Vanessa Williams this episode? Now on to the Betty goodness!

We start out with Betty causing chaos at a meeting at Mode. In Betty's clumsy fashion she reached out for food and bagels and everything were flying everywhere. Marc then points out that "Don't worry, no one really noticed." We then have the awkward reunion of Betty and Henry.

Amanda's looking for money and the only thing she gets from the late Fey Summer's estate is a mangy dog.

Justin has started his intern at Mode and surprise! He takes to it like a duck to water. Marc is thrilled because he now has a real life understudy. Daniel and Papa Mede are trying to take care of Alexis and they decide by telling her little white lies and "rewriting" history.

Meanwhile, Willie's having an afternoon delight with a big, bad bodyguard (Played by her real life ex husband Rick Fox). Unfotunately Betty and Christina are stuck under her bed while this is going on because Betty decides to steal the Book so that Daniel could sign off on it.

After Willie discovers that Betty knows her secret she makes her a deal: Keep your mouth shut and your dad comes home. Tell and you're screwed.

Betty decides to keep quiet and feels extremely guilty, especially after Daniel tells her that she's the only person he can trust.

We end the episode with Papa Suarez getting kidnapped and Betty and a drunk on wine coolers Henry deciding whether or not they want to be together.

Episode grade A+

Girlfight: The America's Next Top Model Recap

Oh Tyra. You are my crack and I'm your addict. Every season I tell myself that I'm not going to watch and then you have a contestant that I hate to love. This season it's Bianca. Girfriend is sooo ghetto-fab it's not funny. Who else would admit to a $25 weave? Who else would be responsible for this quote: "Check yo thighs in the mirra..."

She takes horrible photos but has an attitude to spare that I want her to stay on my TV screen as long as possible and then crushed at the end when the big dream eludes her.

So far Bianca has argued with most of sistas in the house and she's targeted Lisa the former stripper (oops: I mean she totally had a bikini on but only did lap dances) and Saleisha who may walk away with this thing.

Tyra and crew seem to be high on Heather who takes amazing photos but because she has a form of autism is having problems relating to the other girls.

Last night the girls had to walk in a straight jacket for Miss Jay and oddly enough some said they felt right at home doing it. (Let's not go there) and then they had the girls do a runway show of some designer I had never heard of but the clothes were in a word: UGLY.

Saleisha won the challenge much to Bianca's dismay. And then she gives us the second quote of the evening: "Don't let the red hair fool ya, I know HIGH fashion." Really Bianca????? Really???This week's photo challenge had the girls wearing the couture gowns and hanging from a rock wall. Jenah totally walked away with this one. Although I liked Lisa's photo a lot too. But girl needs to be more model-y and less stripper-y.

Unfortunately poor what'shername from Florida was booted.

Next week: Someone gets her hair chopped off> Based on the long hair girls I pray it's Ebony because her bad weave bothers me.

Episode grade: B+

She's running out of steam: The "Bionic" recap

A lot of my friends and I were split on the pilot for "Bionic Woman," I saw the potential, they saw crap. I'm beginning to think they were right. I have no qualms admitting I was wrong.

Last night, we saw Episode 2 and it this is the direction the train is going, then I'm jumping off after the next episode.

"Bionic Woman": The recap
We catch up with Jamie and her little bratty sister (I still can't remember that girl's name, that's how little she's impacted me so far) at Will's funeral. Poor Jamie, first she loses her baby, then she been upgraded to Jamie 2.0 and now Will is dead. (Of course, last week, it looked like he just had a shoulder wound but that's just me). Miguel Ferrer (aka Not Oscar Goldman) shows up to remind Jaime that she's porting $50,000,000 worth of his hardware and that she needs to come do some good in the world.

His good in the world and hers are vastly different because fast forward two scenes later and she's slamming some random dude in the men's room in a bar. NOG shows up and reminds her that she's wasting time. I fear so are we....

And then we go into the lovely opening sequence which in a word sucks. I miss the old slo-mo with hair flowing in the wind and cool sound effects. This is just angry rock music, a woman silhoutted against a white glass in a black room. It's like angst art with out the angst and the um, art.

After the break we find out that Bratty McBrat has been smoking pot in the girl's room. I know this is supposed to be San Francisco and all but this girl looks like she would need help buying a 7-Up and we're supposed to believe she scored some pot??? But I digress.

Fifteen-minutes into the show, someone remembers this is called the "Bionic" woman and not "Random boring chick" and we see her bionics in action. She saves a woman from jumping from a building. Um Yay! Plus, who jumps backward from a building? If you're going die, then just go for it. (Yes, I know I'm cruel, but my frustration is building).

Jaime decides after seeing her slacker friends actually get jobs and go on with their lives to go work for NOG and his crew. Along the way, she meets Isiah "He-who-hurls-the-"F"-word-around-but-got fired-and-now-this-is-the-best-he-could-do "Washington. They have a Yoda/Karate Kid/wise black person moment in a book store and she decides to pay NOG a visit. She lays down a laundry list of what she will and won't do. NOG agrees but should be reaching for the "OFF" or "MUTE" button because her demands are crazy!

Amazing how last week she ran for her life and this week she has a shiny new badge and can walk up and down the halls with no problem. Then it's time for the "training montage". See Jamie's body. See Jamie do one handed pull-ups. See Jaime run (but with NO sound effects booooo!!!). And then viola! She's ready for her first mission: Trying to figure out who killed an Idaho town with a weaponized bio-agent. It turns out NOG and his crew created it and enemy hands got a hold of it.

Meanwhile, Jae gets yellow roses from Sarah aka "Ta-dah" and they go off to have some Bionic lovin'. She tells him that she got hacked and that's why she went crazy. (Has he forgotten this woman killed NotMcDreamy?)

Jamie and the blond woman who wanted to "talk about their feelings" go into the town as the "Department of Agriculture" and find that there's some soliders trying to kill the only survivor of the plague.

A soldier hands Jaime's butt to her until she realizes that she's BIONIC and then fights back. (I guess all that training was for naught). Bratty McBrat calls and wants her Tenacious D T-shirt during this just to remind viewers she's on the show.

She and the blond are rescued by IW and crew (how they got their that fast is beyond me) and then terrorist cell is taken down.

Meanwhile Jamie and Bratty bond and make up. The end.

Episode grade: D