Wednesday, February 20, 2008

It's baack! America's Next Top Model!

One of these women will be YOUR "America's Next Top Model". Photo from

8 p.m.: So Cycle 10 starts out with a recap of the last 9 seasons and we see folks on a school bus? I'm confused already.

And we see Marvita who recounts her molestation and rape and the fact that she didn't make it last season. She says it's because of anger: I say, there were prettier girls. Then were off to a courtyard and the Jays(squared) appear. Just as I'm ready to go Yay! were off to a commerical break!.

8:03: Some movie called 10,000 B.C. is hawked. I'm bored. Where's my "Wanna be a star?" opener???

8:06: Some deluded girl says Jay Manuel is fine. He's gay honey. OH my goodness, they're doing a Fashion School? It looks as if they are ripping off Mo'nique's "Charm School." The girls switch into school girl uniforms where they take their school photos. I'm ready to gag already.

Some girl with a big old forehead takes her photo and her name is Fatima. Then a clueless blond stands and asks if she needs to pose. We learn her name is Kim but I can bet we won't see her for long.

Miss Jay shows up ready to teach the girls Runway 101. Jake throws a backpack on a deks and then the girls are ready to walk. It just occurred to me that how did they have the girl's size in uniforms. Clueless Kim shows up again and she looks like a hot mess.

Then some girl name Lauren walks and she looks as if she's trying to catch the bus. It's bad y'all.

Fatima is back and and she's awful. Some girl named Anya is soooo excited and she's annoying to me too. It's 11 minutes into the show and there's no Tyra yet?

The girls to go a football field and former top model contestants act as cheerleaders and it's pretty sad. Furonda, Joanie and the twins are all there which says to me they don't have a career.

Tyra comes popping out as a bad looking Homecoming Queen at 8:13. She's got really bad makeup, really UGLY hair and a yellow dress. Tyra tells the girls that this season will be "coming home to NYC."

I'm thinking since her talk-show is in NYC it would make sense the show would be there too. So far, I'm not impressed with any of the girls we've seen so far. It's now 8:15.

It;s 8:18 and we see a commericial for a GOOD show: Gossip Girl!

It's 8:19: Anya shows up again and I can tell she might not make it due to the edit. Another girl who's less than memorable shows up with a cool and shiny bathing suit. Another girls shows up and she's from Wisconsin and she disses her hometown.

Another girl claims she's related to Muhammad Ali and her name is Shaya. She's cute but meh. The rest of the girls tryo to get to know each other and one shouts "Hey you guys want to see my pubic hair?" Class-y....

A plus sized model (really) disses the OTHER plus sized girls. I'm sure Tocarra and Whitney are pleased by this. I'll skip this pitiful performance by this one girl who tried to rap.

This girl named Dominique who's got big boobs and said that "you can't put a price on all of this!' I like her!

Fatima and Shayla get into it after Fatima tells Shayla that she's so "ghetto". Saleisha shows off her Cover Girl commericial but it's kinda bad. But she's better than Jaslene!!!

It's 8:28 and we're back at Fake Charm School and some girl who's the new Natasha of the season. OH NO: One girl says she's audition for Top Model EIGHT times!!!!!! Then this woman named Shalynda goes after Fatima with both barrels. And then catfight No. 1 goes on. Sooo attractive.

Another girl says she's weird and different and Tyra tells her "These girls don't look like my type of look" oh, Ty=Ty its always about you.

A black girl says that she got married at 17! And Mr. Jay volunteers to be her lapdance subject. And then we have the parade of weird. Another girl says her mom is only 18-years old than she. Her mom is a Morman oooh.

Kim the dumb blond shows up and then says "A lot of people think I'm a dumb blond but.." and I'm like, yes you ARE a dumb blond.

Fatima does the inevitable comparison to Iman. Tyra brings out that Fatima has had female circumcision and it gets pretty sad. Her body doesn't look so hot but what do I know. Fatima looks like she needs a good meal!

Fatima tells everone that she's had the proceedure and I'm guessing some of these women don't even know what that is.

It's only 8:35 and I'm bored.

Then it's 8:40 and Fatima is crying and then Marvita yells out "So do you feel like less of a woman?" Class-y

Another girl talks about how she was going to trick out an impala. She's from Boston and it's pretty sad.

Another full figure girl shows up and she admits to stretch marks. I'm scared of her but ick. But wait, I spoke too soon. Another girl says she just had a baby and she's breast feeding and then she admits to....

wait for it


Please cut her butt!

Shayla and Shalynda get cut. BOO!

They continue this modeling school theme and the girls have to take a senior class portraits. The yave to self style and get ready for their shots.

Some of these girls look like a hot mess. Anya has made the cut and she doesn't look too bad! Fatima talks to Mr. Ja about how she wants the photo done and I can tell Mr. Jay doesn't like her.

Kim the clueless is still there! Marvita does not too bad of a job and she's happy about it. No word about Breast Milk Woman yet. And we're off to commericial.

We're back and the photos doen't look half-bad. Yay. Breast Milk woman is still in for now.

Impala woman is in! For now! Mr. Jay isn't impressed with Marvita. And now it's time for the results!

Here's who made it: But first, we have to do the commencement ceremony. Allison has made it! Fatima made it (surprise!), Katrozina made it! Dumb Kim made it! Stacy Ann made it. Both Amys made it. But Tyra is making one of them change their name. Breast Milk Woman made it. Whitney made it (the plus sized girl) . Marvita made it and she's shocked. Three names left: Lauren made it (awkward girl) , Tatalia made it. And there's one name left. Anya made it.

Unfortunately, the girl who said you can't put a price on all of this didn't make it. BOO! Then Tyra is cruel and then said they were going to add another name and then she mentioned that All of this DID make it!

And she's ready to Rock This!

And we're off!