Yo dawg, you're kinda pitchy...

Pitchy. Screechy. Yo factor. If these words don't make sense, then you haven't been watching "American Idol" this season.

I have no idea what the hell Randy Jackson says half the time. No one I know knows either and I know folks from all walks of life.

Clearly this season is going to be a battle between LaKisha and Melinda (that is if America doesn't screw it up) and then there's the Sanjaya factor.

Sanjaya clearly is gay and I want to root for him but the boy cannot sing. AT all. Seriously. He can't sing. He's cute but he's a baaad singer. The thing is, his hair is rocking. Pantene should call right now and book him before it's too late.

Besides Kisha and Melindy Doo, I am falling in love with Jordin. The girl has star potential all over her. It wouldn't surprise me if she wins this thing. She has everything, the looks, the youth and the voice. As the signs of tonight's show says, she sparkles. She may not be a size 2 but that's OK. I'm looking forward to seeing how this progresses.

And WTF is up with the girl who kept crying??????!!! What IS her deal????!! Look for her on YouTube or VH1's Best Week Ever. They totally are going to be all over this. Trust me. For real. And that's who been voting for him.

The Amazing Race
I'm worried about Uchenna and Joyce. They really did a rookie move this week and they came in dead last. Luckily it was a NEL thank goodness. I like Charla and Myrna but Myrna annoys me when she keeps referring to Charla's height.

And Charla clearly is the engine that keeps this team going. And Team Guido aka the OGGs (Old Gay Guys) revealed this week that they wore thongs. It's bad that one of them either has a bad toupee or a bad die job but also they wear thongs! At 58 years old, they are walking around wearing thongs???!! GAG (Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little).

The YGGs (young gay guys) Danny and Oswald are my favorites and not because Oswald was wearing a T-shirt that said Hamme(red). But because they were so cute chasing Phil around the Pitstop after they hauled a load of coal.

And before I forget, I'm kinda watching "Dancing With the Stars" but only to see if we can see Heather Mills and her fake leg come off!