What! Is! Your! Identity!!!

So on Friday night, I was sitting here watching "1 vs. 100" and saw a scroll saying that NBC was looking for contestants for a show they aired back in the fall called "Identity."

I thought, what the hell, I'll try. I had tried out for "Deal or No Deal"
and didn't get on. So I did it.

Six. Count'em SIX hours of my life I'll NEVER get back. It was long. It was tiring and it was mis-er-able.

I should have known this was going to go sour when on their sheet giving the details about what the day would entail, there were typos GALORE. Words like "too" instead of "to" and "you" instead of "your." A bunch of us in the line were laughing at how bad it was. And of course it's bad when you misspell the name of your OWN show.

When I arrived, there were about 60 people there, by the end of the afternoon, there were around 180. It was quite obvious this group was ill prepared to handle that many people. Thank GOD it wasn't like "Price Is Right" or "DOND" because we would have NEVER gotten out of there.

The tryout was to get two photos of you taken and then be taped saying what you would do with the money. The casting director was this old crone named Laura who looked as if she cast the play where Lincoln was assassinated.

And I was forced to sit by a guy with bad breath, a woman who KNEW everything and this woman whose elevator didn't quite make it to the top. This woman was SCARY. And CLINGY. Her eyes looked as if she were holding on to her sanity by a slim thread. Her tryout was hysterical. I mean she screamed and did the typical : WOW!!! I'm SOOOOOOOOOO GLAD to be here!!!! I'm sure folks in Alaska heard this woman. I pray they don't select her, I don't need to EVER see this chick again.

My tryout was OK and she gave me the comment "GOOD ENERGY!!" and I believe she was interested. I don't even care if I get on the show, but hell, at least I tried.

The week in review
Sunday
Last Sunday's "Desperate Housewives" was one of the best of the season. That ending was so OH! MY! GOD!! fine that I can't wait until 9 p.m. Mike causing Orson to fall off the side of a parking garage was shocking. I pray that Orson is dead because that whole storyline annoys me.

Monday
The "Heroes"/"24" battle is heating up. Both shows are my MUST SEE NOW TV. I don't sleep well on Monday nights because I'm up thinking about what's coming up next. Of the "Heroes" bunch, I really care about Claire and Hiro. The rest I can take or leave. I want Nikki/Jessica dead. I pray she's the one who dies tomorrow but my money is on MrMuggle'smama aka Claire's adoptive mom. And where is Claire's brother? This week, someone is supposed to die and someone is supposed to fly. What the heck that means, I dunno.

Over on "24," I'm getting a bit tired of the dysfunctional Bauer family. And the violence is getting to be over the top. So far we've seen Jack bite out the throat of a terrorist, a terrorist stabbing another in the knee and last week Morris being tortured with a drill.

Tuesday
Oh "American Idol" I AM your BITCH. I don't want to be, but I am. Paula is batty, Simon is mean and Randy, who knows WTF he is saying but I love him anyway!

And on NBC I'm totally addicted to "Dateline's: To Catch a Predator." I've seen the scenario a gazillion times already. But each time, I'm shocked at who shows up at the house looking to molest a child. I mean c'mon folks, if you have to sneak and do anything in life, then you're doing the wrong thing. It's just that simple.

Dear TPTB over on "Veronica Mars": Thank you! BEST mystery of the week so far! LOVED that you made it a two-parter! I have no idea how this one is going to end! But I'm also ticked because you faked us out with the 5 minute appearance of Wallace!

Over on "Law & Order: SVU" things seem to get back on track. And it had a special guest star who's acting I've admired for a while. Oh "Everwood" my Monday nights are colder without you guys. I miss you sooo much!!!

Wednesday
"Lost!" IS! BACK!!! At least that's what the promos have been screaming. And I'm happy to say, that it is and it isn't. "Lost" needs to be fixed. The first thing they need to do is to move it from 10 p.m. It's waaay too late to be watching something this intense. The storytelling is great though. I'd suggest that they move "Lost" to Tuesday's at 8 p.m. There's very little there and it might be it's best bet to get some of the viewers back.

Thursday
"Ugly Betty" and "Survivor" are facing off again. This season of "Survivor" hasn't grabbed my attention yet. Meanwhile, the fashionista in me is loving ever second of "UB." Last week's when Justin gave a one-boy re-enactment of this play was the funniest thing I've seen on TV in a while.

"Survivor" has thrown a few twists in the game but these folks are bo-ring. I hope it picks up after the merge.

Friday
Have you watched "1 vs. 100?" If you haven't you need to. It's AMAZING and stunning at how stupid people are. I mean really, really stupid. If I were there, I'd be winning millions. I think they intentionally choose stupid folks. I hope these people are at home cringing at how stupid they look. Sample question: "Which one of these is a single celled organism?" Choices were: A) a squirrel b) An ameboa c) Calista Flockhart. Do you know the woman actually needed to use one of her helps??? I'm NOT kidding. Stooooopid!

Saturday. If you haven't seen this skit then you are missing the best of "Saturday Night Live." "SNL" has stepped up BIG time! It's like hysterically funny this season and it hasn't been that way in such a long time. It's worth staying up late on Saturday nights!

And before I go: Do you know about "The Secret?" If not, then you've either not cared or been under a rock. The high priestess of the media aka Oprah gave her blessing to "The Secret." Basically, it's this: if you want better things in your life, you have to be open to it. If I were this guy I'd sue because he got ripped off. We'll see if "The Secret" and its followers can truly change the world. I do.