"Lost" makes my head hurt

See how confused Desmond (center) looks in the photo? At home, I'm about 10 times worse! Photo by ABC.com

Last week, the Kate episode of "Lost" left me so confused that I couldn't even blog about it. It opened up a whole relm of questions. Last night, the Desmond centric episode, brought even MORE questions to the table.

Time travel? Dying rats? A constant? Oy!

We learned that leaving the island has some really weird effects on people such as have them jumping back and forth through time. Desmond apparently got a little loopy after being exposed to some electromagnetic energy and started jumping through time.

His purpose: To find one a scientist in the past who recently landed on the island. They introduced a constant: someone that keeps you in place through time and Desmond's time jumping travels stopped.

We also learned that time passed differently on the island so it's only Christmas Eve 2004. (I call shenanigans on this because a lot has happened four months!)

Is this the strongest cycle of "ANTM"?

Kim. What were you thinking? Photo by CWTV.

You know, last week I was unfairly hard on these girls. After watching them this episode, I have some clear favorites and some girls need to get off my TV.

But first, let's start with Kim. I knew she was in trouble early in the episode but she pulled an Ebony from Cycle 9 and quit. They totally need to pick better next season

Two seasons back to back of folks quitting? That needs to stop.

And then tonight's photo shoot: Homeless chic. It's so laughable but some of the girls did a really good job. The new judge Paulina what's-her-name is no Janice Dickerson

I have to say I was floored by the first girl out: Atayla

Jump The Snark if you're reading this, there's no way you can NOT love the drama. =-)

American Idol: Top 10 guys

Do the guys stink? YES!. Photo by Fox.com

I guess tonight was 70s night and it was hor-ri-ble. The best thing is that Danny Noriega looks like he could be Jessica Alba's younger brother.

They keep saying this is the best group yet but I think they need to keep looking. Seriously.

However, David Hernandez was A-MA-ZING!

And my LORD did you see the bad whiteboy dancing Jason was doing? I was embarrassed for his son at home. It seemed very karoke. ICK

But young David Archuleta aka Gay Clay 2.0 is the one to beat. It's his contest for the guys. Look for him in the top 4 for sure.

Have you missed me?

Y'all must not know about Tyra. Let me 'plain it to you. Photo by People.com

I'm a slacker. I admit it. Actually, no, I've just been insanely busy these past few days and this poor blog has paid the price for it.
My friend Jump The Snark is dissing my choice of TV shows. (We made a deal, I give "Torchwood" a try and he would give "America's Next Top Model" a try.

Somehow, I've managed to come out ahead on this deal but he's a good sport. And at least he can say he's seen it.

I'm going to have to sic my girlfriends Leslie and Liz on him to remind him of the goodness that is TYRA.

Here's why you should be watching "America's Next Top Model."

1) The models. What other show could take 13 ordinary girls and give them a chance to become a supermodel? There's this show that is a ripoff (a better show but a ripoff nonetheless) on Bravo but it doesn't quite have the Tyra magic.

2) The judges. Here's what you need to know. Miss Jay is a little sexually confused and Mr. Jay is a full-on diva with a bad dye job but they add to the fun of the show.

3) The photoshoots. They make those girls do the craziest things whether it be taking photos with roaches or hundreds of feet up in the air, it's hard out there for models.

4) Tyra. Tyra. Tyra. She's crazy y'all. And I LOVE her.

It's baack! America's Next Top Model!

One of these women will be YOUR "America's Next Top Model". Photo from eonline.com

8 p.m.: So Cycle 10 starts out with a recap of the last 9 seasons and we see folks on a school bus? I'm confused already.

And we see Marvita who recounts her molestation and rape and the fact that she didn't make it last season. She says it's because of anger: I say, there were prettier girls. Then were off to a courtyard and the Jays(squared) appear. Just as I'm ready to go Yay! were off to a commerical break!.

8:03: Some movie called 10,000 B.C. is hawked. I'm bored. Where's my "Wanna be a star?" opener???

8:06: Some deluded girl says Jay Manuel is fine. He's gay honey. OH my goodness, they're doing a Fashion School? It looks as if they are ripping off Mo'nique's "Charm School." The girls switch into school girl uniforms where they take their school photos. I'm ready to gag already.

Some girl with a big old forehead takes her photo and her name is Fatima. Then a clueless blond stands and asks if she needs to pose. We learn her name is Kim but I can bet we won't see her for long.

Miss Jay shows up ready to teach the girls Runway 101. Jake throws a backpack on a deks and then the girls are ready to walk. It just occurred to me that how did they have the girl's size in uniforms. Clueless Kim shows up again and she looks like a hot mess.

Then some girl name Lauren walks and she looks as if she's trying to catch the bus. It's bad y'all.

Fatima is back and and she's awful. Some girl named Anya is soooo excited and she's annoying to me too. It's 11 minutes into the show and there's no Tyra yet?

The girls to go a football field and former top model contestants act as cheerleaders and it's pretty sad. Furonda, Joanie and the twins are all there which says to me they don't have a career.

Tyra comes popping out as a bad looking Homecoming Queen at 8:13. She's got really bad makeup, really UGLY hair and a yellow dress. Tyra tells the girls that this season will be "coming home to NYC."

I'm thinking since her talk-show is in NYC it would make sense the show would be there too. So far, I'm not impressed with any of the girls we've seen so far. It's now 8:15.

It;s 8:18 and we see a commericial for a GOOD show: Gossip Girl!

It's 8:19: Anya shows up again and I can tell she might not make it due to the edit. Another girl who's less than memorable shows up with a cool and shiny bathing suit. Another girls shows up and she's from Wisconsin and she disses her hometown.

Another girl claims she's related to Muhammad Ali and her name is Shaya. She's cute but meh. The rest of the girls tryo to get to know each other and one shouts "Hey you guys want to see my pubic hair?" Class-y....

A plus sized model (really) disses the OTHER plus sized girls. I'm sure Tocarra and Whitney are pleased by this. I'll skip this pitiful performance by this one girl who tried to rap.

This girl named Dominique who's got big boobs and said that "you can't put a price on all of this!' I like her!

Fatima and Shayla get into it after Fatima tells Shayla that she's so "ghetto". Saleisha shows off her Cover Girl commericial but it's kinda bad. But she's better than Jaslene!!!

It's 8:28 and we're back at Fake Charm School and some girl who's the new Natasha of the season. OH NO: One girl says she's audition for Top Model EIGHT times!!!!!! Then this woman named Shalynda goes after Fatima with both barrels. And then catfight No. 1 goes on. Sooo attractive.

Another girl says she's weird and different and Tyra tells her "These girls don't look like my type of look" oh, Ty=Ty its always about you.

A black girl says that she got married at 17! And Mr. Jay volunteers to be her lapdance subject. And then we have the parade of weird. Another girl says her mom is only 18-years old than she. Her mom is a Morman oooh.

Kim the dumb blond shows up and then says "A lot of people think I'm a dumb blond but.." and I'm like, yes you ARE a dumb blond.

Fatima does the inevitable comparison to Iman. Tyra brings out that Fatima has had female circumcision and it gets pretty sad. Her body doesn't look so hot but what do I know. Fatima looks like she needs a good meal!

Fatima tells everone that she's had the proceedure and I'm guessing some of these women don't even know what that is.

It's only 8:35 and I'm bored.

Then it's 8:40 and Fatima is crying and then Marvita yells out "So do you feel like less of a woman?" Class-y

Another girl talks about how she was going to trick out an impala. She's from Boston and it's pretty sad.

Another full figure girl shows up and she admits to stretch marks. I'm scared of her but ick. But wait, I spoke too soon. Another girl says she just had a baby and she's breast feeding and then she admits to....


wait for it




DRINKING THE BREAST MILK!

Please cut her butt!

Shayla and Shalynda get cut. BOO!

They continue this modeling school theme and the girls have to take a senior class portraits. The yave to self style and get ready for their shots.

Some of these girls look like a hot mess. Anya has made the cut and she doesn't look too bad! Fatima talks to Mr. Ja about how she wants the photo done and I can tell Mr. Jay doesn't like her.

Kim the clueless is still there! Marvita does not too bad of a job and she's happy about it. No word about Breast Milk Woman yet. And we're off to commericial.

We're back and the photos doen't look half-bad. Yay. Breast Milk woman is still in for now.

Impala woman is in! For now! Mr. Jay isn't impressed with Marvita. And now it's time for the results!

Here's who made it: But first, we have to do the commencement ceremony. Allison has made it! Fatima made it (surprise!), Katrozina made it! Dumb Kim made it! Stacy Ann made it. Both Amys made it. But Tyra is making one of them change their name. Breast Milk Woman made it. Whitney made it (the plus sized girl) . Marvita made it and she's shocked. Three names left: Lauren made it (awkward girl) , Tatalia made it. And there's one name left. Anya made it.

Unfortunately, the girl who said you can't put a price on all of this didn't make it. BOO! Then Tyra is cruel and then said they were going to add another name and then she mentioned that All of this DID make it!

And she's ready to Rock This!

And we're off!

Live blogging: "Lost"

Oh Sayid, you're looking mighty sexy in your future flashback. Photo by ABC.com

I'm actually starting this late because I had to eat some dinner.

That being said we're starting at 9:15.

Jack and Kate talk and share a moment. Jack sends Kate to go with Sayid and the "Ghost Whisperer" go to get Charlotte. The pilot asks about Sayid's past and Jack tells him that he was a torturer.

And we're at commerical: Here's what happened the OTHER 14 minutes. We start out with Sayid on a really goregous golf course and he makes a friendly wager with another golfer. Sayid loses and insists on paying the other golfer: with a bullet.

Um, I'd think if I'd have known the outcome, I would have let him win for SURE.

Then we flash backward to the island and Sayid closes Naomi's dead eyes (sooo cliche here) and sees a bracelet she has. It has an inscription on it and then he asks the pilot could he go to the boat. Sayid promises to bring Charlotte back safe and sound but only if he'll take him to the boat. The pilot answers with"he'll get them OFF the island." which we now know that Sayid DOES get off but how????

Flash forward, Sayid picks up a blond in a coffee bar they make chit chat and a date.

Sayid plans on going for Charlotte and tells Jack that he'll need to stay behind. Kate asks Jack how does it feel to be left behind and he says should he do like her and "wait 20 minutes and then go anyway" (I love Jack!)

It's 9:21 and Sayid, Kate and "The Ghost Whisperer" go after Charlotte. After some playful and witty banter, we go back to the fast-foward. Sayid and the blond have apparently gotten closer. Sayid grabs the blond's beeper (yes BEEPER) and they head out.

It's 9:23 and there's some lovey dovy action going on. I look away and then we're back at the helicopter where Dr. Whocares is busy setting up some sort of device. Jack and the pilot look on and Jack wants to know his story. Dr Whocares activates the phone and asks Regina to fire out some sort of payload.

But the beacon never arrives. Sayid and his crew arrive at the barracks and head into the area. The Ghost Whisper wonders about the swingset and Kate and Sayid doesn't give him an answer.

They find Hurley in the closet! (NO, let's not go there). But it's beginning to make sense: Jack, Sayid, Hurley and Sayid all make it off the island. I'm guessing that they make it out on the helicopter but for some reason, they can't get back. Now the question is: Who are the other two? And is the person in the coffin one of the Oceanic Six or was there SEVEN and he died?

It's 9:31 and now Hurley is spilling his guts to Sayid's crew. Jack and the pilot talks and Jack tells the pilot it's been 100 days since he saw the game. The payload finally arrives but it's a good few minutes late. What's going on?

Juliet shows up and she has Desmond. (I forgot all about Desmond!)

Kate and crew search the barracks and find: empty closets?

Sayid pulls a dresser out and finds a fake wall. Of course he goes in and sees Ben's secret staff of passports and British pounds. It looks as if Ben has left the island a bunch. And then we find that Hurley CONNED them and is with the crew after all. He gives a sheepish "Sorry dude" and we're off to commericial: AGAIN!

It's 9:38 and it seems like the commericial break just goes on and on...

GAWD: ABC is trying to force some crappy old reality show down my throat. Luckily this big old piece of chocolate cake I'm eating is blocking the b.s. or I'd be in trouble.

It's 9:41 and Sayid and Ben are now locked in the same cell. Kate is in a room with Sawyer and a hospital bed. Kate says she believes Jack can get them off the island. Sawyer says he has nothing waiting for him there. He asks her why she wants to get off the island so bad. He says they should stay and play house. (AWWW) . But she isn't having it.

Lock brings Sayid and Ben some ice tea but I think he must not know about Sayid. Ben watches Sayid and play who has the biggest balls.

Flash forward and Sayid and the blond are lying in bed after some L-O-V-I-N'. The blond now realizes that she doesn't know anything about him. She then says she's in love with Sayid and he looks conflicted.

Sayid tells the blond no more secrets and then the beeper that the blond has been carrying around goes off. (Of course it would). Sayid tells her that she needs to leave Berlin and Sayid reveals that he was using her to get to her employer. Of course she's ticked.

Sayid says her employer is on a list and the blond shoots Sayid. It turns out SHE was using him! OMG! And then he kills her!! Wow!

He even strokes her hair and closes her eyes like he did Naomi and then sees she had a bracelet like HERS!
Yep, it's official. I'm this show's bitch. And we're off to commericial: AAARGGGGHHHHH!!!

EWWW: Viagra commericial !!!!!!!

And ooooh: A commericial for Oprah's new reality show!! "Oprah's Big Give"

Desmond questions them about Penelope and SAyid arrives with Charlotte but no Miles and Kate. Jack looks shocked that Kate isn't there and Sayid said he traded Charlotte for Miles.

Charlotte says she's saying and Daniel says he's going to stay. Dr Whoecares tells the pilot to stay on the same bearing they came in on. Jack stays and it looks as if Naomi is the one who'll be on the helicopter. So it looks as if Sayid, Desmond, the pilot and Naomi's body all attempt to leave the island. And YAY they take off and Sayid looks so happy he could just cry.

And it looks as if they have officially left the island!

Suddnely we're in a clinic where there are tons of animals. Sayid is still wounded and it looks as if a mysterious man will be taking out the bullet. Sayid is talking to BEN!!! OMG and Ben is Sayid's employer and it looks as if he's working for Ben to protect his friends.

Sayid tells Ben they know he's after them now and Ben says GOOD.

WOW!

Next week: Another one of the six is revealed!

Checking out Saturday night TV

I haven't watched this show in years but tonight's episodes were pretty darn interesting. Photo by MTV.com

I've been working on a project all day long and was afraid that I'd have to bypass my television viewing for tonight. Then I got a jingle on my cell phone from my friend Jump the Snark reminding me to watch "Torchwood" tonight. I tried to beg off but my friend he wasn't having it. Once again: He was right. And so was Mrs. Wong. And so was Ani. I have to accept that they all are cooler than me and move on.

But I'm in denial so there!

I think I'm beginning to figure out what's going on. Mrs. Wong reminded me that this was a spin-off from some show called "Dr. Who." (I can see them both rolling their eyes here but I've never seen Dr. Who).

So then I was flipping through the channels and stumbled across a show I used to like. "True Life" on MTV.

I haven't watched it in YEARS. When it started it was extremely interesting because it dealt with young people making stupid mistakes or learning about life. And then I veered away from the show because more interesting stuff was on.

Tonight was a show about "Friends With Benefits" but I think it should have been called "One person's being selfish and the other person is cruising for their heart to be broken." Seriously, how can this NOT be considered a BAD idea???

I'm no saint because I've had those types of arraignments (YES: TMI) before and they NEVER work out. But I guess everyone must learn on their own. The thing is, is that the people who didn't want to get caught up in a relationship really aren't all of that.

But the sex must be AMAZING because folks are crying on NATIONAL TV. And get this, the guy Scott who lives in NYC is too "focused" on his career but yet he has time to hook-up with another hottie. And in Indiana this girl Britney is stringing this guy along named Sean. She's kinda tacky and her hair is quite unfortunate. (If you're not a blond in real life, don't be one on TV)

That being said,I doubt I'll continue to watch this show, but what the heck, it killed an hour.

In search of the Black Canary: Smallville

Yeah, I feel like screaming too after watching this horrid version of one of my favorite DC Comics heroines. Photo by CWTV.com

My good friend Mrs. Wong still watches "Smallville" after all these years. I check it when superheroes from the DC Comics universe show up. Last night, I DVR'd "Smallville" while I watched "Survivor" and then I had to watch "Lost" and then I zipped through "Smallville." It was the right choice for me.

My apologies Mrs. Wong, but here's what I didn't like:
I haven't watched this show in forever and everyone looks very old. Tom Welling will be 31 years old in April and he looks every bit of it. He's supposed to be playing I would guess now early 20s. While it worked in the early days of this show, now, it doesn't.

Allison Mack as Chloe is still as cute as ever and she's 25 but if these kids don't graduate soon, she's going to start looking her age too.

And Lana, poor Lana (Kristin Kruek). She is 25 but is looking more like 30 plus. Her storyline is just ridiculous and she's less than convincing as the ex-wife of Lex Luthor.

But what I'm really miffed at is the show's attempt to do Black Canary. The story behind Black Canary is that she's a florist by day and a crime fighter by night. She is one of the most skilled fighters within the DC Universe (some say she can fight the Batman to a standstill). But her biggest weapon is her "Canary Cry" which is a hypersonic (not SUBsonic) cry that can shatter class and even punch a hole through steel. See for yourself here.

What we saw last night was a lady in bad leather with knives and no acting ability whatsoever.

But the one thing I DO want to see is a Justice League spinoff because it looks like it'll be hellacool. Get on it CW!

"Surivor" :Fan vs. Favorites

Cirie, please win for all of us coach potatoes everywhere. Photo by CBS.com

At first, I thought this Fans vs. Favorites idea was crappy. But color me impressed because the favorites gave us a great show. Seriously because 15 minutes in alliances were ALREADY being formed. One was, Amie, Eliza, Jonathan and Yau, the other was Ozzie, Parvati, James and Amanda. Both alliances wanted Jonny Fairplay but no one seemed to want Cirie, which is interesting since she played a good game last time. I'm rooting fr her.

Here's some mistakes I'm noticing already:
Folks are not thinking with the right heads (James, Ozzy, I'm looking at BOTH of you)

The fans are overestimating themselves right now. You don't have experience. These people do. Learn from them.

I can't wait to see how where this goes.

Episode grade: A+

The Boondocks: The gay episode

I don't know whether to laugh or be totally offended by the "gay" episode of "The Boondocks"

So the return of Gangstalicious returned on "The Boondocks" on Monday night. For those of you who don't know, last season Riley discovered that rapper Gangstalicious was gay. Riley kept the secret and now Gangastalicious is repaying him with free tickets and shoutouts.

If you can get past the language it's one of the funniest of the season. And in an uncomfortable way.

Why is Diane Saywer wasting her time?

Diane, you deserved better than what Charlie and George was dishing out on Tuesday night. Photo by ABC.com

So here's the deal. I was watching ABC news (my partner's idea, not mine) to see the battle among the candidates to see who would be the Republican and Democratic front runners. I got distracted by the dominance of George and Charlie. Charlie is the lead anchor so that makes sense but George? Really?

Poor Diane was regulated to giving weak stats on the sideline. She deserved a better role than that.

Yes, I watched the Super Bowl

Alicia Keys and her singing was the highlight of my Super Bowl afternoon the outfit, however, notsomuch. Photo by NFL.com

It's 6:26 p.m. and I've been watching the Super Bowl for the past few hours. I don't care about the game but I wanted to watch for the commericials. And I have to say the only commercial that I actually liked was the one featuring the Budweiser Clydesdale horse training a la Rocky. The rest kinda sucked. I was disappointed with the "Iron Man" commercial too because it didn't show me anything new.

Maybe because it was a dreary, rainy afternoon here in San Diego but I was kinda meh on the whole thing. You'd think I'd be all over men in tight uniforms running and sweating but it did next to nothing for me.

I'm looking up and it's now 6:34 p.m. and lordy, it looks like something is finally happening! The score is 10 to 7 with the New York Giants leading the New England Patriots. I'm rooting for the Patriots because I want Junior Seau to FINALLY get the danged Super Bowl ring so he can sit his behind down. He's old like me and 39 year old men should not be running up and down this football field like they're 24.

Oh, and my other favorite part was the "celebrities" they showed in the crowd: Pam Anderson, Jordin Sparks, Jim Carrey, Jenny McCarthy and of course Peyton Manning who was watching his lil' bro on the field.

MY GAWD! The Patriots just scored! The score is now 14 to 10. Thank you GAWD. He'll finally get that ring!

And then two of the worst commericals ever just aired. One for AMP from Mountain Dew (Can this group please stop hawking this song) and the other from American Idol which showed NFL players trying to sing.

Wow, when I started this I hadn't planned on live blogging this but oh, well, I'm flexible.

We now have 1 min, 20 sec left. and it's about 6:50 which means this will take about 10 min to do. Eli Manning almost threw an interception which isn't good for the Giants fans We have 59 seconds left and the Giants are in good position on the field.

After 3 hours, NOW the game gets interesting???!!! They now have a first down and we have 40 seconds left. Wow, this really, really is going to go to the bitter end.

The Giants just scored!!!!!!!! and we have 35 seconds left and the crowd is going wild. My poor heart is breaking, just breaking for Junior Seau right now. Score is now 17-14 Giants!!! But we have 35 seconds left and a lot can happen.

The Patriots have the ball and we have 29 seconds left. This might be the longest 29 seconds ever. The Patriots coach Bill Bellachick looks like he's ready to blow a gasket right now. Tom Brady gets SACKED and we're now down to 19 seconds left.

They just showed Junior and he's looking kinda sad. Brady does a great throw but the Giants guys can smell the win and they are playing for their lives. We're down to 10 seconds now. We really now are down the last play of the game, it's do or die here. Do you believe in miracles? I don't. And it looks like I'm right. And the game is now over!!!!!! Giants win!!!!!! But wait, we have 1 second left and they are trying to get everyone off the field. You can here the crowd chant "Eli, Eli!". Yeah, it's over.

Torchwood

It's funny, it's scary, it's "Torchwood" Photo by BBC America


My friend Jump the Snark has been after me for a while to watch this show. Now, why did I doubt him? I dunno but I'm on the "Torchwood" train.

I can't say I didn't know about this show because numerous people (Thank you for the clarification Mrs. Wong) told me about it but I didn't give it a chance. Now I'm ready.

I'm going to try to make this Saturday night appointment TV.